The Joker's Apprentice
by Goddess of Fangirls
Summary: Quinn is an eleven year old girl. She goes to school to learn witchcraft, but everything ends up different then she hoped. She's best friends with the Jokester, she gets in trouble every other day, she's bullied by Brad Parkinson, and she loves her life. Used to be called the broken, summary changed. All events in previous summary will happen, just later, probably in a sequel fic.
1. Chapter 1

**It's me, the one and only GODDESS OF FANGIRLS! **

Kpop will be frequently mentioned, but you don't need to know anything about it to understand the story.

**BTW~ I went to a British school for a grand total of 2 years, so this is based off HOGWARTS, HARRY POTTER, AND REGENTS INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL! WOOHOO!**

**Disclaimer: Nope. Not Harry Potter, not Girls Generation (KPOP IS AMAZING), After School is a no, as well as 4minute, not Johnson Controls, PJO, nothing!**

***Isabelle will be referred to as Izzy and Bella, that sort of a thing, sometimes***

"Quinn, get in here!" yelled my dear mum. I winced, remembering the trail of mud I'd left in the kitchen. I plucked my earbuds out, mid Girls Generation song- my favourite- Express 999. I rushed downstairs, and saw mum holding a mop in her hand. "Clean up this mess!" She said. I took the mop from her, and swirled it around on a patch of the mud.

"Mum." I said, as I scrubbed at the last of it. "What's for supper?"

"We're doing mash and meatloaf tonight, it should be ready in a bit." she replied, whisking milk into a pot, to do some complex cooking method I didn't understand. I put the mop in our cupboard, and went up to my room, where my MP3 payer was playing a remix of my favourite 4minute songs.

"_Oh mirror shine,_

_Let me fix my make up_

_Break it down,_

_Break it down-_

_chakhage saranghan joe nappeun ibyeore apaya aljyo_

_Sarangeul mollaseo geujeo sarameul mideotjyo-_

_Yeah I'm the female monster_

_You know that_

_Everybody let's get crazy right now_

_Lego-"_

I began to sing along to the music as I finished up some arithmacy homework for Mr. Braggs. Just as I finished, mum called me down to dinner, and we began to eat.

"How was school?" she asked. "Who did you sit with at lunch? Do you have much homework? Was Mr. Braggs nice today? I smiled at her eagerness.

"Braggs was fine, I just got some literacy work to finish up. I sat by the usual crew- Mary, Sophia, Isabelle. How was work?"

"Oh, Martha was a pain, she ordered a dress in the wrong size, and didn't impress her new boyfriend enough for a pricey dinner, yada yada yada, etc etc. I had the interview with John to talk about the promotion. I think-" she bit her lip. "I think it went well."

I beamed. I was genuinely psyched for her. She'd wanted this promotion for forever. "That's great!"

"I know!" she said, her voice a mix of nervous and excited. We finished dinner over some banter, and I brought my homework to the table once we'd cleared it off.

"Your eleventh birthday is coming up this summer!" She said. "What do you wanna do for it?"

"Um." I paused. It was May, and my birthday's August seventeenth. It seemed a little early to plan something to me. "Maybe- Mar, Sophie, and Bella could come over?" I asked. "Maybe- like, for a little sleepover? We could- go to the cinema. we don't have to." I added. Our family was a little tight on money, since mum was the only one with income coming in, since dad and her divorced while mum was still pregnant with me.

"Sure!" said mum. I could tell that she was confident about the promotion. I finished my work in silence, as mum typed on her dinky little red Toshiba netbook. I picked up my cheap plastic pen with JCI (Johnson Controls) written on it, and smiled sadly at her. She gave up so much for me. The netbook hardly worked- it shut down every few minutes, the wireless connection didn't work well, it was eight years old, and every time I saw it I remembered her sacrifices, and felt a tad guilty. Okay- a ton.

"What's up?" she asked. I realized I'd been staring.

"Nothing." I lied.

She put away her computer and took out her sewing kit. She started stitching up a work blazer, and I looked down at my ratty tee-shirt from volunteering at the humane society. Needless to say, it was hard to sleep that night.

"Happy birthday Quinn!"

"Happy birthday!"

"Quinnie the Queen!"

My friends grinned at me- Mary with her hair in a shaggy, chin length teal hair, Isabelle's death-metal band tee-shirts, and Soph with her normalness. It was funny, our friend group. We were all so different, but opposites attract, you know?

"What're we seeing?" asked Mary.

"We should see the Death Time!" said Izzy.

"No! We're seeing the Final Promise!" begged Soph.

"My vote's on Bring Back the Beat 2: Age of Jazz!" pleaded Mary.

"It's all up to you." said Mary, giving me the puppy eyes. Izzy death glared at me, and I looked away.

"My vote's on Peter Johnson and the Trident Burglar." I said. We put the names in a hat, and I pulled one out. It read 'death time', so I shoved it back in and pulled out 'the final promise'. I didn't want them to know what I'd put back in, so I said, "The Final Promise? Not again!"

Instead of taking it that I'd pulled it out before, they thought I'd already seen it.

"You don't need to watch it again," said Soph, her shoulders slumping. "Peter Johnson is cheaper. We could get popcorn or something. I brought fruit pastilles too."

"Sounds good." Said Mary. Isabelle shrugged, and we went up to my mum. "We're seeing Peter Johnson and the Trident Burglar, based on the novel by Riker Rondalds." said Mary. I nodded happily.

"You need a ride?" asked mum. I smiled again, and nodded.

"Thanks."

Mum drove us to the cinema, where we got three small popcorns and three tickets to the movie. Mum told us she'd wait for us in the lobby. Just as Peter found out he was the son of Hades, we heard an odd hooting noise, and a bird landed on the chair next to mine. It had something in its beak. I pulled it out silently and tucked it in my pocket. When the movie finished, I'd forgotten all about it.

When my friends left, I sat down with mum, and we opened the letter together.

_Dear Ms. Lisbond,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry… _

**That's all for now! Don't forget to review, my lovelies! *Reviews will be responded to in the next chapter* **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again! One follow! Yay! **

**Disclaimer: Nope...**

My mind was buzzing. A lady in green robes and iron grey hair pulled into a bun had materialised just as I opened the letter.

"Good day, Ms. Lisbond. You must've been thinking this a joke. I can assure you, it's not." She'd said. She'd told us she's Minerva Mcgonagall, the transfiguration professor. She told me about a secret magical world she lived in.

"You're a witch. Now, come to Diagon Alley with me to collect some school things for you." she said. I glanced at mum. She hadn't spoken through the whole ordeal. She nodded slightly.

"One moment, Professor." I said, grabbing my mum by the arm. I led her to the powder room, and began to talk in a low whisper.

"Mum, did you know?"

"No. Maybe your fath-"

"That's all I needed," I said. I made to open the door, but stopped, turned, kissed her cheek, and said, "come with me, yeah?"

She smiled. "Wouldn't miss it for the world.

Mum'd been right: Diagon Alley had to be the most magical place in the world. There were robes shops, cauldron shops, broomstick shops, spellbook shops, the wizarding bank, and an owl shop. An owl shop. She and her mother just looked, their heads turning, watching all the sights around them.

"Now, you'll need school robes, books, a cauldron, potions ingredients…" Mcgonagall listed off some school supplies I'm pretty sure Soph, Izzy, and Mar had never had. I looked longingly at the window of the pet store, seeing owls and jewel coloured cats, and such.

"There's not enough money in your school funded account for a pet," said Mcgonagall. She motioned to a bookshop called Flourish and Blotts. Flourish and Blotts was cool, it was two stories (no pun intended) and books were everywhere. There were wall-to-wall, floor-to-floor shelves, tables with piles of books on and under them, piles ceiling high around the room, making narrow halls to walk through, cages of biting books hanging from the ceilings. It was basically paradise. I walked through the maze of books trying to find the books Professor Mcgonagall had told me to find.

"Curses and counter curses…" I muttered under my breath. I finally found the book I was looking for in the middle of a stack of thick, leather bound books with different coloured bindings. I tried to pull it out a little, and just as I tugged it out, all the books above it fell to the ground. Almost. Just before they hit the ground, they stopped, and hovered above the ground. My breath hitched at the magic. The books flew up to form the stack again, and I felt a little embarrassed that I'd made them fall over.

"Really Fred?" scolded a mother's voice. "You just had to knock the books over?"

"It wasn't me!" piped a redhead who I assumed was Fred. "It was that girl over there!" he said, pointing at me. I ducked my head, and hid behind a stack of books all entitled Magical Hieroglyphs and Logograms.

"Nonsense, there's no girl over there!" said the woman. I let out a sigh of relief, and in an instant, Fred was by my side.

"It was you." he hissed.

"Shhh. I don't wanna get in trouble." I said.

He snorted. "Are you starting Hogwarts this year?" I nodded. "Me too. Bit of advice- if you hang with me an' George, you'll have just enough fun, widdout the trouble."

"Oi, Fred," a voice said. "Alicia found some purple toads that belch galleons, c'mere!"

"That's George. I'd better go." he said. He disappeared, and I found One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi, and set off to find mum and Mcgonagall.

"Well, that's that." said a weary Mcgonagall. "I do believe you can find the rest of your things," she pointed at a shop with a battered sign I couldn't read, "so I shall leave you here. Until September, Ms. Lisbond." With a swish of her cloak and a loud crack, she was gone.

"What'do you wanna do?" asked mum.

"I dunno. We should get the bits and bobs. And my wand." I said.

"You're wand, Ms. Lisbond, is larch with unicorn hair, 13 ¼ inches, quite flexible." said the man with the creepy silver eyes. "Treat it well. Seven galleons." he said. I handed him the gold, and mum and I went back to the warm, sunlight alley. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Platform 9 and ¾?" asked mum, peering down at my ticket. "How could that be?"

We were standing between platforms 9 and ten, looking around for anyone who might be able to point us in the right direction. The clock read 10:35, so we had 25 minutes to find the train and get me and my trunk aboard it. I leaned against the brick column between the platforms, and found myself in a different world, where a scarlet steam engine was the centre of attention for all sorts of young witches and wizards. Mum fell through the barrier too, and her jaw dropped in complete and utter awe.

"Wow" she whispered. She shook her head, and said, "Quinn, we'd better put your trunk somewhere."

I nodded my head, and we pulled my trunk onto the train. I hugged her, said goodbye, and with the help of someone who introduced himself as Marcus, managed to tuck her trunk onto a rack.

"What house are you planning on? Slytherin?" he asked.

I had no idea, so I replied with a small "yes".

"You're pureblood then?" he said.

"What?" I asked, not knowing what he was talking about.

"Both of your parents were born to magic?"

"Er- no. My mum is mortal. I never met my dad." I said.

"Oh, you're a mudblood then." he said.

Marcus left with some friends, and I sat in my compartment, listening to BoA on my MP3 player, wondering what a mudblood was. The music was scratchier than usual, but I could still make out some words.

"Sur-r-r-rechig-g-g-gatte ita f-f-futari dakedo ima nara ieru sunao na k-k-k-kimochi wo

Toosugir-r-r-ru kyori mo koete-e-e-e kimi ni a-a-a-itai"

I smiled as the music played, the scratchiness not effecting the mood of the song. I was joined by two girls a few minutes later, so I pulled out my earbuds and introduced myself.

"Hi! I'm Quinn." I said.

"Angelina." said the girl with dark brown hair.

"Alicia. Alicia Spinnett." said the blonde. "Are you a first year too?"

"Yeah," I said. "I grew up with my mum though, and she's a mortal, so I don't know very much about the wizarding world. I told a third year- Marcus- and he said I'm a mudblood? I'm not sure what that is."

Alicia gasped, and Angelina's jaw dropped. "He didn't!" said Angelina.

"What's it mean?" I asked. It was obviously something rude.

"It's dirty blood. Common blood. Muggle parentage. You see, our mum's a muggle- mortal, you called her. You don't know about your dad, or do you?" I shook my head, and she continued. "Well, you won't be able to know what your parentage or blood status is. There are anti-blood status discrimination laws, but stupid gits like Marcus Flint still judge people on it. Don't take his comments to heart, none of it matters."

"Thanks." I said. "What does blood status have to do with houses?" I asked, wondering about what he'd said for Slytherin.

"It shouldn't have anything to do," replied Angelina, "But Slytherin is famous for only admitting purebloods and the occasional half-blood. Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff don't mind. I want Ravenclaw the best. You?"

"Gryffindor, like mum." Said Alicia. "Quinn?"

Just as I opened my mouth to tell them I hadn't the foggiest idea, when Fred from the bookshop and who I assumed must be his twin entered. I couldn't tell which was which, just that one was Fred.

"It's bookshop girl!" yelled the one on the left. He must be Fred. I thought. "Ladies, I'm Fred," he said. Called it! I thought. "And this is George, my cool, but slightly less attractive twin brother." I grinned as George elbowed Fred in the gut. The boys sat down, and we chatted all the way to Hogwarts.

When we had changed into our robes, and the train slowed to a stop, we got out of the train, and a loud, gruff voice yelled "Firs 'ears! Firs 'ears o'er 'ere please!"

A giant man with tangled black hair and a beard introduce himself as Hagrid, and showed us to some little rowboats, where me, Alicia, and Angelina sat together. They began to move across a lake by themselves, which was amazing. I was just staring at the constellations rippling in the inky black water, so when I heard everybody go "Oooh" and "Ahh" I looked up, and saw a huge stone castle with a bunch of turrets and towers everywhere, perched on some mountain-y cliffs. The ride was over too soon, and I found myself listening to Mcgonagall talking to us.

"Each house has produced noble wizards and witches. Throughout the year, your triumphs will earn you house points, and your downfalls, for lack of a better word, will take away points. Now with that, let the sorting begin!

Oh, young witches and wizards alike have tried me on before,

and now standing before me I see quite a few more,

children I'm the thinking hat, the best one all around,

and in my hands, you can trust me, that you'll be safe and sound

You might be made for Gryffindor, where cowards fail to be found,

or maybe good old Ravenclaw, where the astute are all around!

Perhaps you're destined for Hufflepuff, where each heart is fair and true,

but don't discount the Slytherins, where cunningness is more than a virtue

So try me on, it won't take long, yes I'm the thinking cap!

There was a round of applause, and a few mutterings about how the song was shorter than usual, and the sorting began.

My surname starts with L, so when alphabetical order comes into play, I'm always at the middle. That was the case again, when Mcgonagall yelled, "Lisbond, Quinn." I walked up to the stool, sat down, and tried on the hat.

Quinnie Lisbond. I quite remember sorting your father. A Gryffindor if I ever met one. You wish to differ from him, because he abandoned you? It is a mistake. No matter I dub thee a…

Duh Duh Duh! Find out next chapter! That song was hard to write! It was short because of that. Also, excuse any missing k's, my k key is broken and I need to copy/paste them into the story, which is a bother. Review!

PS- this chapter is way longer than the other one! Yay!

PPS- If someone wants to explain what a beta is and how I can get one, I'd be grateful!

Also- I'm starting a QOTD THINGY!  
QOTD: What's your fave animal?

AOTD: Cheetahs!

~GoF


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello! 90 views and counting! You're fab, I love you just for reading this! Okay, on with the story.**

**Disclaimer: Not yet...**

"Slytherin!" yelled the hat. My eyes widened, and I walked over to the table of rude bullies. I caught Angelina's eye from where she was sitting at the Gryffindor table.

"It's okay." she mouthed. Either that or "Stay away." Anyways, Marcus must've told the other Slytherins I wasn't a pureblood, so everyone glared or whispered, "why's a mudblood here?" It was dreadful, really. I hated the lot of them without even knowing their names. I sat down between a third year girl with long black hair and startling blue eyes and a fourth year boy who was short and brunette. Both scooched away from me, and I ran a hand through my copper, ruler-straight hair nervously. The sorting continued, and Alicia, Fred, and George all headed to the Gryffindor table. My heart sank. Why was I different from all my friends? Did they still want to be my friends?

Dinner started, and my worries were shoved to the back burner. I piled turkey legs and mash onto my plate, and began to dig in. It tasted better than a five star restaurant, and within mere minutes I was cutting up a slab of steak and stuffing myself with food.

Dinner suddenly vanished, the spoon and buttered peas I was lifting to my mouth disappeared, and pies, cakes, ice creams, peppermint creams, candies, and chocolates appeared. I piled a little of everything onto my plate. I turned around to see Fred and George's expressions of glee. When Fred caught my eye, he winked, then catapulted whip cream at me. It didn't hit me, though, It hit the third year girl sitting next to me. She turned to me, cracking her knuckles, and said, "you think that's funny, you little muggle!? I'll get you for that. Just you wait…" and turned to talk to Marguerite Nott.

* * *

I copied down notes in History of Magic, my JCI pen writing scratchy, as it was almost out of its purple ink. For some reason, people would look over at me, confusion in their eyes, as my pen wrote out notes.

*handwriting*

_-Goblin rebellion of 906_

_-Gormac the gross led troops into fortress of Merlin_

_-Slaughtered G. Gryffindor_

_-reclaimed jewel of moonlight_

_-Slytherin saved day with basilisk_

_-treaty of Mordrok_

_~sword of gryffindor_

_~peace for one century *LATER BROKEN*_

_~'the execution'- largest goblin execution in history, over 9,000 killed…_

Eventually, I looked over to Cara Flint (Marcus' younger sister in my year, surprisingly nice), and whispered, "Cara, why is everyone looking at my funny?"

"Quinn." she said. I found that a bit odd. A few minutes later, Professor Binns cleared everything up for me.

"Miss Longblitz, I must ask you to put away that muggle toy and take out a quill and ink." he droned, in his vacume-y voice. i understood what Cara had been trying to say now, at least. He continued on. "Your 'pin' will not be tolerated any longer. You may not use it in class or on standardized test, et cetera. Thank you."

I would have given up all my money (which admittedly wasn't much, I'm as poor as a mouse) to have my ballpoint pen turn into a quill and inkwell. Why couldn't my first lesson have been transfiguration? I sighed, and finished my notes up quietly, listening to people snigger at me.

Was I right to wish for transfiguration as my first class?

No. The answer is clearly no.

The next day I found out what Marguerite's revenge was- she told me that Professor Mcgonagall didn't call on people to raise their hands- no no, it was _much _better to just shout out the answer.

_Hello, I'm Quinn Lisbond, and I've survived a Mcgonagall word assault. Just a few hours ago, I blurted out an answer in class due to a rude girl, and now I am scared for life. If you too have PTSD from dear Mrs. Mcgonagall, please call 1-800-283-1006. I'm a survivor, and you can be too!_

Blast, I sound like a teleprompter, don't I!

Lets just let that explain how it went, shall we?

So, Mcgonagall was all "Who knows the steps to transfigure one object to another," Then I was all "Well you take out your wand, visualize, blah blah blah," and she went all psycho on me, like "OMG I DID NOT CALL ON YOU SO IM GOING TO HATE YOU FOREVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

Okay, maybe that's not _exactly _how it happened, but still.

Snape didn't like me very much either- he made me answer a bunch of hard questions and told me I was stupid- ("Just because you come from a muggle family doesn't give you an excuse to not know anything! I am ashamed to call you a Slytherin!")

In fact, the only people at school who didn't hate me were Professor Dumbledore, Fred, George, Lee Jordan, and Alicia. Angelina believed the nasty rumours Marcus and Theodore were spreading about how my mother was descended from the people in Salem who burned witches for sport.

One sleepy afternoon, Fred and I were by the lake feeding the Giant Squid and working on a dancing pineapple charm, when he decided to take our friendship one step further. Thats right folks, Fred asked me if he could give me a nickname.

"I've already decided on it- you're porcupine."

"What?"

"Porcupine."

"I don't-"

He looks at me impatiently. "When we first met, you were by a book about porcupines. Now what're ya calling me?"

"Fred."

"Pardon?"

"I'm not giving you a nickname."

"lamo!" he muttered.

I rolled my eyes and made a kiwi dance into the squid's mouth.

"Porcupine, why does George always use that muggle thing? What does it do?" asked Fred, tentatively.

I laughed. "Well, Fred, it's called a pen, and they're like quills but a lot easier to write with." I replied. "I find it funny how people with magic could still be using something as primitive as quills and inkwells." I added.

"Well Miss smarty pants, without inkwells, you can't do this!" he exclaimed, and he promptly dumped a pot of ink over my head.

A regular charmer, that one.

**Whew! New chapter coming soon, I hope! **

**Cookies for my reviewers, followers, fave-ers, and such!**

**(::) (::) (::) **

**~GoF**


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